

If you're going to cook your husband breakfast of Ayrshire organic bacon and eggs, you may as well be wearing the apron he bought you for Christmas and a 50p charity shop vintage tiara.








The UK is Christmas mad. More money is spent on buying cats and dogs presents than the entire GDP of **insert small African country here**. 
I have just watched Adam Gilchrist's superb knock at the WACA (..or the Gabba, it doesn't matta, where you are, this summa....because it's the number one team in commentary, it's me, Richie Benaud, and me, Tony Greig....and don't forget me (shut up Bill), Bill Lawry...),

I feel numb at the prospect of a citizenship test for migrants entering Australia. Worse, the proposed content of this test is making me feel sick. John Howard wants would be Aussies to know about Galipoli and mateship.War Historian C. Bean, writing from Gallipoli, Sydney Morning Herald, 17 May 2002
Kim looks really prime ministerial in this photo. Have I spoken too soon? Will Rudd be another Latham? Will the ten caucus members who are undecided run to the devil they know? Will Beazley triumph? Should I have stayed faithful and gone all the way with Kim "LBJ" Beazley?
The poor turnout for the recent WorkChoices rallies across Australia is indicative of what I call "The Big Sleep". For the faithful who turn out, it's the same old, same old. The union leader compere, followed by a shop steward or a union member, preferably one who's got a story to tell, followed by a folk singer or union choir, and then maybe an international speaker and finally, some old union bloke who's turn it is. Yawn. Boring. Fists in the air, we will defeat you Howard.

What a crap start. The wide bowled by Harmison to second slip on the first ball of this much anticipated Ashes series was almost as good as the googlie bowled by Warne to Gatting on his first over. Except Warnie's hit the stumps....
I am in despair over the latest performance by the Federal ALP. With 4 interest rate hikes in a row, the Iraq war and of course industrial relations, I can't believe that the ALP is so woeful. Kim Beazley and his frontbench class of '93 (a term I have pinched from a friend, who is important now, so shall remain nameless...) HAVE GOT TO GO.
My uber fabul-arse mate Avril and I went to the Scissor Sisters concert in Glasgow. It was a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey brilliant concert!....and we were in fine form singing along
to all our fave tunes. Jake and Ana Matronic were just amazing. It was a handbag house love fest. Kiss You Off, Take Your Mamma, Comfortably Numb, Don't Feel Like Dancin' and of course Filfthy Gorgeous, shook da house. I know this will offend Pink Floyd fans, but Comfortably Numb Scissor Sister style is so much betterer than the original. Jake and Ana lied and said they had haggis for dinner....
This was in our favourite newspaper, The Guardian on the weekend.
But seasonally adjusted, he died at 103.
I'm donating to Getup so that billboards can be made to lobby the Federal Government to either send Hicks home or send him to trial. This is an injustice - no one should be locked up indefinately without charge.
And here is my friend Sue getting an autograph from Michael Mori - David Hicks' lawyer.
Beryl Morgan


ith carpet, red curtains and a little stove. Here we are on the banks of Loch Tay in the north of Scotland on its maiden camping journey. It was fucken freezing....('scuse language, but sometimes, only fuck will do...)
Answers to Spot the Difference:
An open letter to Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali regarding his comments about likening women to pieces of meat that cats eat in back alleys.....
SENATOR NATASHA STOTT DESPOJA:
The War on TerrorThe War on Terror
T.W.O.T.
Twot’ll
They think of next
Which noun to get the red coats marching?
Marching, marching!
King George’s men come marching,
The War on Terror is here
Twot-twot had they heard it?
The suicide bombs ring clear
Twot-twot in their ivory distance
Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down through the ribbon of highways, and over on the Hill
The NeoCons came driving,
Driving, driving!
The NeoCons look to refining. The oil shall be theirs.
Twot-twot in the people’s silence! Twot-twot in the people’s rights.
Our global march comes nearer! We will organise in the night.
Our eyes grow wide for a moment, we click on one last link!
Our fingers move on the mouse pad
Click away on the notebook’s mouse pad
Click to the online protest
The War on Terror is fear.
by ali b
Apologies to Alfred Noyes