Monday, April 23, 2007

Meet Priscilla

Priscilla enjoys having friends round for tea, especially when party plans are involved. Her favourite party plans are Nutrimetics, Tupperware and Avon. Priscilla recommends the Sky Blue Island Dream Avon compact and the tupperware containers with airtight lids, perfect for keeping her favourite whey products, such as New Whey, No Whey and Whey Out, fresh for the next competition. If Priscilla runs out of No Whey, she finds Nutrimetic's Apricot & Avocado Facial Scrub with Wheatgerm is a good whey protein substitute.
Priscilla is shy, so is looking for a partner with a similar interest in immediate muscle and vascular enlargement but with no meta-fusion on the first date. With Priscilla's busy life, sometimes she doesn't have time for a man, so turns to NO-Xplode - the world's first and only pre-workout supplement that produces immediate results in energy, size, strength, pumps, performance, mental focus and training intensity...
Priscilla says: "I love competition and want to share it with someone special in my life. I love being put on the spot by the judges and asking to pose in different positions to show off my muscles. This pic shows me posing as a TV antennae, but I later found out that the judges were asking me to point to where my brain is, so as you can see, I'm smart."

Living the Ikea dream

I promise I'll put some pics of oor new hoose on the web soon, but it's difficult without the internet. So in the meantime...enjoy this pic!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Happy Days

As that previous entry was a bit grim, I thought I'd share that happy days are ahead due to the lovely new flat that Jock and I have moved into.

It has meant though, that blogging has become difficult because we are internetless, due to the fact we live in Great Bureaucratian. I tried to keep blogging by begging my ISP to cut the red tape and blag my way through a series of lies to keep the blog going, but I wasn't able to convince them to switch us over in less than ten days. Clearly, going down to the telephone exchange and swapping the wires for a phone that's moved upstairs is way too hard...

Anyway, the weather is getting warmer and the days lighter and while my local lunch bar at work hasn't gone as far as a sun dried tomato or olive pesto in the lunch menu, they have put a notice up saying the daily soup choice will be going from 3 down to one because of the impending warmer weather. Happy days are indeed ahead.
If only every day was a Joni and Chatchi moment......

Troops out NOW!

I can't see the violence in Iraq ending any time soon, even with the "surge" in troop numbers. Today, 127 people were killed in car bomb attacks, probably with countless others injured so badly that they will be forced begging on the streets, because no doubt there's not a welfare system in place.

I can't see any other option but for all troops to be taken out immediately and let the poeple of Iraq have their civil war. How dare we decide that the best form of democracy is to blast the shit out of the country to force the deposition of the despot, cry freedom and then not implement a follow-up strategy that would see all aspects of the community involved.

Instead, we have retribution, corruption and trigger happy leaders of freedom loving nations.

What was the alternative? We should have done nothing, and let the Iraqi people decide their fate. They could have either had a bloody war or a peaceful democratic movement to dispose Saddam. We're really good at doing nothing in Zimbabwe and Burma, to name two. Oh and Pakistan, where they are nuclear and run by an unelected military government, but they've been helping get rid of the Tora Bora tunnels hiding Taliban, (which the CIA help build by the way), so that's okay.

I know I sound a bit like someone standing on a street corner trying to sell the Green Left Weekly or the Morning Star, but this is how I feel, and readers of this blog, so mote it be, will know that I am torn about this dreadful bloody mess in Iraq, this mess that my home country and adopted country are both involved in.....rendering citizen me part of it.

Monday, April 09, 2007

How to run a Chinese restaurant in Scotland

You will need:
1 small space with a toilet down the stairs or through the kitchen
A kitchen
Some tables and chairs and forks and spoons. No need for chop sticks as nothing will be served in a bowl.
A jar of bright pink MSG sauce
A jar of bright yellow MSG sauce
A jar of peanut butter coloured glug which you shall call "satay"
One deep fryer
One large deep fryer
A chicken
A pig
Some English root vegetables finely chopped.

Now, all you need to do is fry the chook and the pig ,(if you're not certain the small deep fryer is for the chicken), add whichever coloured sauce you prefer and bung in a carrot and an onion. No need for bok choy or chilli - that's foreign muck.

There was no need for a doggy bag once we had finished.....

(Pic: Chicken with Bright Pink MSG Sauce)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Glasto Glasto bloody Glasto

Glastonbury 2007 - 450,000 people registered for tickets, and 137,000 get to go. This meant setting up a well tuned machine to get tickets on the net, which included Jock and myself, Shane, Jeannie in Belgium and Michael in Sydney on internet and phones. I don't understand how Jeannie managed to get through when she lives twenty metres below sea level and miles away from London. And at 9 months pregnant. Anyway, LEGEND springs to mind, because many of my friends weren't able to get tickets and we certainly had no luck here. So, Jeannie was able to purchase the tickets and we are going to the world's greatest music festival in June.

This is what this UK adventure is all about. I think by the end of 07 I will be festivaled out and it will be time to take on new pursuits such as hiring a canal boat in France and going to the Venice Biennale in 09.

We move into our new hoose tomorrow. How excitement! A wee place of oor ain!