Monday, April 09, 2007

How to run a Chinese restaurant in Scotland

You will need:
1 small space with a toilet down the stairs or through the kitchen
A kitchen
Some tables and chairs and forks and spoons. No need for chop sticks as nothing will be served in a bowl.
A jar of bright pink MSG sauce
A jar of bright yellow MSG sauce
A jar of peanut butter coloured glug which you shall call "satay"
One deep fryer
One large deep fryer
A chicken
A pig
Some English root vegetables finely chopped.

Now, all you need to do is fry the chook and the pig ,(if you're not certain the small deep fryer is for the chicken), add whichever coloured sauce you prefer and bung in a carrot and an onion. No need for bok choy or chilli - that's foreign muck.

There was no need for a doggy bag once we had finished.....

(Pic: Chicken with Bright Pink MSG Sauce)

1 comment:

Mike said...

Love it! Yes, the usually grotty "bathroom" (to use a 'local' euphemism) has to always be through the kitchen so you can ask yourself....'Did I really eat that?' Keep it coming, Ali. Your old neighbour (or should that be neighbor.....) temporarily in the good ole' US of A