Christmas Crackers

The UK is Christmas mad. More money is spent on buying cats and dogs presents than the entire GDP of **insert small African country here**.

What I find funny is the Christmas tunes pumped through the stores here. And that's every store. Not just your Marks and Sparks, but your Pakistani corner shoppe and your local hairdressing/tanning/stick-on nail salon.

To qualify for going onto high rotation on radio or into the CD player, all a song must do to achieve Christm-arse repetition overload is to have the word "Christmas" in it. Innit.

A point in case - I was in the famous toy store, Hamley's of Oxford St London, when I heard The Pogues Fairytale In New York come over the in-store muzac system. Now this is a toy store. There are small children around.

And this is what they heard:

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

A song primarily about being heroin junkie. If you would like to familiarise yourself with this little ditty, click here for a wee listen.... And meet Shane McGowan, their front man, pictured here on the left.

Now you may argue that the kids are too busy looking at toys. But I say - do you know all the words to Hotel California? Well do you? And did you ever own said Eagles song? No? Neither did I... but I know the words. That is because of the evils of commercial radio and high rotation.

In saying all of the above, I would much rather listen to The Pogues than "Do they know it's Christmas", Cliff Richard or that horrible boob tubette, Messiah Carey with her horrible horrible, evil song, All I Want for Christmas is You (to shut up). And here she is singing it live... uh! Just horrible!