Dave by Mick - our trip to Florence

We lovingly dubbed Michaelangelo's David Dave by Mick but that seemed slightly offensive once we actually stood in front of this imposing work. I expected it to be person sized, or Venus de Milo sized, but it was almost Leninesq in stature and for once in my life, I was speechless. The Galleria dell'Accademia was surprisingly quiet enabling us to marvel at our mate Dave for a good fifteen minutes before a noisy group of American history students ambled in. If you do wish to see the real Dave by Mick you can click on this link which will take you to shopping heaven, the Raptis Plaza in Surfers Paradise, where a life size replica of David takes pride of place between Hungry Jacks and a group of Emos wagging school.

Earlier in the day we visited the Uffizi Gallery where once again, we were mesmerised by Botticelli's Birth of Venus and the murals on the ceiling.

We were, however, somewhat bored of Ubiquitous Religious Painting by Some Bloke. There's only so much one can take after seeing painting after painting of the Madonna with Child, which is mostly painted in gaudy colours with the Jesus always looking slightly demonic. I think this is due to artists painting the nose of said saviour with an adult's bridge, rather than a cutesy little button. There was one such painting with a portrayal of John the Baptist piccolo bambino holding a cross gazing lovingly up at baby Jesus. Can someone who is more religious than I enlighten me if the Cross was used prior to the crucifixion of Christ (yes, aware of it as a symbol of man/woman in ancient pagan traditions) or whether Some Bloke was using artistic licence in this painting.

It seemed that this period of such hideous amounts of disposable cash drew upon the pious nature of the wealthy, where art was commissioned on a one upmanship basis of who had the biggest and most religious bed head commissioned by the more favoured artist ala mode.

Other highlights of our trip included the Leaning Tower of Pisa (a slightly dizzy ascent due to leaning nature), wandering around the narrow streets of Pisa and eating gelato.

You may remember I awarded Paris Beauvais Airport the worst airport in Europe. Pisa International is the best so far, as seen here in the picture by its mascot....and as Jock points out....if only they knew how to spell "chicken" correctly.....

You Spin Me Right Round Baby

In politics, there's a number of ways to say to your good friends in the press that you're mounting a challenge against your beleaguered leader. One of those ways is to say "I'm mounting a leadership challenge". This is of course the quickest and most effective way, but rarely is it used.

Another way to say you're mounting a challenge is to take a leaf from the book of Member for Busso, Troy "I'm big in Japan" Buswell:

“I'll be saying to [Omedei] that there is an overwhelming view among the membership that we need to draw a line in the sand and move forward and as part of that process needs to be the calling of a party room meeting so that a variety of issues be discussed in the appropriate forum by the members of the Liberal Party here in WA,” Mr Buswell told reporters.

The Liberal Party in WA is a mess and has been since Richard Court departed. It reminds me of the time when Australia was doing so well in cricket the one day summer series was against itself; Australia A. Do we need a Labor A? Why could this bunch of navel gazing, infighting, policy vacuum school boys manage to hold it together for the Federal election? I don't get it.

In the meantime, please enjoy this somewhat apt video by Dead or Alive, You Spin Me Right Round.

Cat-tastic! A wig for all occasions!

It's me and Jock's wedding anniversary tomorrow. Jock's never enjoyed buying presents, so being the girl who has everything, I directed him to Kitty Wigs where you can buy your cat a wig....

Meowandering down the catwalk is Cher, sporting a jazzy blue number, selling for just fifty bucks. She has teamed this wig with a lovely pastel flea collar. As you can see, Cher is gazing out the window, dreaming of butterflies and small birds learning how to fly for the first time.....

And now, pawing at her heels is Miss Piggy, the epitome of the slutty cheerleader wearing this wig, inspired by the Pink Ladies from Grease. She's up for anything! Actually, the website says "Pink is the color of fantasy. Our model, Chicken (for that is her name....), looks like her mind is elsewhere when she wears this wig -- somewhere in a land of cotton candy and pinwheels where the air smells like sugar kisses". I think it's more likely she's thinking somewhere in the a land of "are you fucking mental" where the air smells like "does your house have fifty cats living in it?"

It goes on:

"Please remember, Kitty Wigs should only be used with human supervision, and introduced slowly. The package also includes complete instructions for care, suggestions from professional photographers, and a mouse with rattle to help you direct Kitty's stunned gaze. When not in use, the wig should always be stored in its pawproof case".

Yep - Kitty is sure going to have a stunned gaze, probably followed by a hissing sound and a jab at your throat.

If you have any further questions about haute cature, please click here.

For old time's sake.....

2007 - the year of the Facebook

2007 will be remembered for the wettest Summer I have ever had. This didn't stop us dancin' in the mud at Glastonbury nor will it stop us from bringing in the bells for New Year tonight in Glasgow's George's Square with 50,000 other Glasgwegians.

Even though I live on the other side of the planet from most of my friends, Facebook has managed to connect me with long lost mates.

Today I spoke with childhood mates Gina Ascott-Evans and Fryth Bouzaid via Skype and a search on Facebook. They are both amazing mums with cute husbands! I've also found Simon Conran - a random mate that I met at 555 William St in '97 - and Brian O'Connor, a fellow Organising Works trainee. I also miraculously bumped into Siobhan Shannon, also of 555 William St fame at the airport heading to Dubai. We caught up with them in Ireland over Christmas.

So ain't social networking sites amazing! The internet has truly wonderful powers when used for good rather than evil.

I wish for 2008 to find peace in Sudan, Iraq and Afghanistan. I wish for Pakistan to have free and fair elections. I wish for world leaders to find real and lasting solutions to climate change that engage the community. I wish for my new niece or nephew to be born into a world with a positive future. So let's celebrate the leaders of tomorrow with this little montage of oor wee niece Hayley Charlotte.

Happy New Year to all - let's hope 08 is great mate!

Gold and Government Bonds are up....I can smell war in the air

I'm saddened by the news that Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated. She took a risk in bringing herself out of self imposed exile to contest the long awaited democratic elections in Pakistan and she has paid the ultimate price. There were warning signs in October when she was nearly killed in the suicide attack, and in a country on the brink of civil war with that amount of political chaos, when a group of extremist say they will kill you, it's going to happen eventually. Surely there was no amount of security at a public rally that could have have saved her.

Bhutto was the first woman president of a Muslim country. She should be celebrated for being a pioneer of woman's rights, but she should also be remembered as someone whose opponents argued she came from a privileged class with questions over her previous reigns - nepotism, bribery and corruption.

Isn't it interesting that Australians still have not voted in a female prime minister? Sometimes you think a country is backward or "not civilised" * because of how they treat women but if you look in your own back yard, the two major parties have still not allowed a woman to become leader.

* I'll never forget Ross Lightfoot, Western Australian MP banging on about uncivilised nations and indiginous Australians. What does uncivilised mean anyway?? I think the captains of industry are mostly uncivilised.....that's another blog entry right there. Best shut up really....

Seriously, I do hope Pakistan doesn't degenerate into full scale civil war. That would be very very bad, especially for progress in Afghanistan.

And the bells rang out for Christmas Day....

Happy Christmas everyone. I'm missing my family, but my family by proxy, the Honans of Carrickfergus in Norn Iron (Nothern Ireland) are putting on a great Christmas show for me and Jock, who ate his Cadbury selection before breakfast.

I couldn't do it any better than this family from Churchlands, Perth....so enjoy - you'll need sound.

The election revisited....got the photos processed....

1)Jock shows off his Kevin07 outside of the pub in London. What joy it was waking up early on a Saturday morning to wonder along a London road to find a sandwich board with Kevin Rudd on it. We knew it was going to be a good day.
2)Labor wins, the Libs lose the election. We drink the bar dry of cheap Australian sparkling so move on to the Veuve Clicquot.
3)Howard loses his seat.
4)Ali loses it......

Soccer, Football, Fitba'

There are times when I will stroll down my street on a Saturday and things aren't quite right. No, it's not the fact that I may accidentally bump into life size Oompa Loompas for want of staring at these Posh-esq sunbedded, fake tanned women or because I'm marveling at the fact that in Scotland it is legal to throw Irn Bru cans on the street. It's because the Fitba' is on. Mostly it will be Rangers supporters going mad at midday, but occasionally you'll bump into a Celtic supporter or another football mad person of a different persuasion. There is an "air" about the place.

If it's before the game, there's folk drinking in the pubs, a huge line at the subway to get to Ibrox and old ladies have rightly remained inside till they can safely put their walking sticks to use and get their "messages" lout free.

If it's after, and Rangers have won, the street is a jubilant jolly carnivale, alive with grown blokes skipping around whilst they drink lager and smoke ootside.

However, a loss will prompt much gloomy standing around, with talk about sacking the manager or questions as to why some Spanish bloke didn't get imported for the match. Just this morning, I heard on the news that the Newcastle soccer team's manager has been saved from sacking because his team scored a gallant goal against Arsenal, leading to an exciting one-all draw.

This is what I don't understand about this game. Apart from the fact that it's boring and tedious and invariably a "good match" can be one where not a single spherical pig skinned straw filled object was put between two posts and a net, the chat and the money that underpins this game is as much scandalous as it is absurd. If there is chat on the radio, it's not about the skills of the players, it's about the money and the manager.

Such is the life of a fanatic, that currently, a ticket to the Rangers-Lyon match (don't ask - there is the UAFA cup, the Champion's League, the Winners of the Second Round Matches of the Nearly Champions League, the European Cup which Israel play in, the Eurovision Song Contest Soccer Cup....the list is endless and I don't understand) is selling for 200 quid on eBay. Madness.

Jock and I support Partick Thistle. It's not in actually in Partick. The team has a horrible bright yellow strip. I've never seen them play. I think they play in the first division, not the Scottish Premier League. I know nothing. But when people ask who I support out of Rangers and Celtic, I say Partick Thistle, immediately identifying myself as an atheist.

Cancer 'n' Stuff

Cancer...

Is a turgid horrible bloody disease. My mum's had it twice and survived. Close friends have had it (and young friends - too young to get breast cancer, but both caught it early and are now in remission) and friends' parents have succumb to this disease . I was recently moved by Matt Price's death from brain tumours, so sudden and tragic. I felt like I knew him.

So, I've signed up for a long term research project in the UK where my health will be monitored over the next decade. It's called Breakthrough Generations and is going to involve more than 100,000 women in the UK.

Stuff....

It's been an interesting month. My ears have been glued to radio national every night at 8pm (7am Oz time) to listen to Fran and Tony Eastley discuss the election. I've been quietly confident that Labor would win the election, but now just feel a sense of relief and hope that Rudd and Julia "Super Ministry" Gillard can live up to expectations. It was excellent fun going down to London to catch up with ole comrades, but now it's time to stop gloating and get back to normal life....which is clouded in darkness now that winter is upon us and that can only mean one thing: enduring the UK's love for shit Christmas tunes over the muzac systems of shops. If you're not sure about my views on this subject, click here.

Lucky then we're going to a big concert next week - the Chemical Brothers, and the following week we're in Paris. I've never been to Paris with a lover before, so I'm looking forward to it, especially if I get to meet these folk sur la Métro

A Date With Jesus

If you look closely, you can see him....

Man Flu gives you time to think

I have man flu. Well, to be honest, I'm actually feeling very sick and sorry for myself and have been home from work today with headaches, a runny nose and Europe's most boring cough.

This wallowing in mud like a hapless water buffalo has given me time to plow through the federal election footage and comment on the web. It's interesting that in every state and territory bar South Australia and the ACT, the Labor premier has resigned (or died, RIP Jim Bacon) giving way for generational change half way through a term and allowing the electorate time to get to know the new leader before the next election. If only Howard had done the same, and the Lib's had elected Turnbull as their leader. I think things may have been very different.

Simply put, Howard got greedy. I have no doubt that the lure of presidential dinners and fairy tale balls for his wife Janette was just too great. Check out this photo with Cheney and Bush - if the wives were wearing sashes they could have been the royal family of "insert small Scandinavian country here with a GDP smaller than Heinz's yearly turnover". The "statesman syndrome" went to his head as well as Janette's. He should have taken a leaf out of his Labor state counterparts and resigned.

Check out Joe Hockey in tears and Alexander Downer being a precious twat.

I really don't think they get it. Downer refused to do any media interviews on election night.

Here's a giggle from Kerry O'Brien:

and sweet poetic justice:

It's Bennelong time.....

It's a Ruddslide!

YAY..Ruddbot wins! The Veuve Clicquot was flowing freely at the ALP Abroad pub with a group of expat mates, Sky News and three hundred other Aussies. I really missed Antony Green, but it didn't matter - Maxine McKew is a star and so is every Kevin07 shirt-wearing Aussie who took to the footpaths to door knock till their knuckles bled.

I am very very happy!

The Election - Ali's Call as at 8.30 am EST

Take the glass half empty, glass half full invisible inkblot quiz!
Glass half full:
The polls and punters are correct. It's a uniform 56-44 two party preferred win to Labor who are 20 seats in the clear. Nice.

Glass half empty:
It's a one seat win to Labor with a challenge from the Liberal Party regarding when the Wentworth Labor candidate resigned from his Government post.

Perish the thought! I think Howard is looking more and more desperate. Saying that once Australians vote for a Labor government you can't take it back like an unwanted Christmas present at the boxing day sales is clearly a sign that he's run out of anything interesting to say. I'm tired of hearing about the economy stupid. I hope others are too and don't fall into that "yar man, I really like Labor's education, health, environment and social policies so much more betterer than the Liberals but the Libs do a better job with the economy so I'm going to vote for Howard".

Howard has gone back to the ol' voter pitch of national security, reds under the beds, burkas under the beds, economy, economy, economy, don't change horses in mid stream except if it's my horse election speech. Nuthin' new, nuthin' forward thinking.

Well, we're going to London on the weekend to watch the vote count on Sky TV at a pub near the head office of the Transport and General Workers Union. I hope this is a good sign! I'm a member of ALP Abroad, so we'll be with lots of comrade supporters. A bit weird watching the election count in the morning.

Here's a pic of us voting! Lucky it's a secret ballot and put in a sealed envelope so you don't know who we voted for....

Royal Loathe

It's Prince Charles' birthday today. The reason I know this is because on Radio 4 (Radio National equivalent) a posh voice came on just before the 7am news saying "Today is the birthday of his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales". And on came God Save the Current Monarch and her Offspring. Jock stood up but only to get some coffee.

Today, a little reminder that we live in one of those funny countries with odd ways and strange rituals.

Find a penny pick it up

My friend Iza and her partner Kuba have a wonderful way of saving up for having a lovely dinner out at night. There is often money left on the street in Glasgow - usually 1 or 2p pieces. I don't bother to pick them up, partly because I think - "it's not worth it" and partly because I leave it to the wee bairns to do. Well, Iza and Kuba do pick up the odd bits of change here and there and keep them separate from the rest of the money they're carrying. Today Iza found 2p on her way to work.

They now have £28 to spend on their "free" dinner. I'm inspired!

Iza is from Poland and it's great being her friend because we talk non stop about our different cultures and share the odd laugh about being foreigners living in Glasgow. I marvel at her knowledge of the English language and the occasional cultural heurisms that happen when a word is misunderstood (like today when I said she could take a "day in lieu" for overtime she had worked..Why would I sit on the toilet?"). She is fluent after living in Glasgow for a year and every day I'm embarrassed about not knowing another language. And it makes me appreciate my mother's ability to speak three languages even more. Why are parents always right? They said I would regret not continuing to learn French and now of course, seeing as I live in Europe I regret it big time.

Not as much as I regret shaving my legs as a teenager....that's another example of not listening to my mother and another story entirely!

Iza says she will go to a Mexican restaurant because she misses Taco Bell...I'll keep you posted!

Rich Old White Guys

Why do we keep voting them in????

Michael Moore pointed this out in his book Stupid White Men. That we keep voting for them, so we get what we deserve. I wish more people from interesting backgrounds did stand for public office. They probably try and just don't get past the battle of preselection!...Sounds familiar! ;P

Breaking the Bankers

First it was, Stanley O'Neil, head of Merrill Lynch and today it's Charles Prince, head of the world's largest bank - the CitiGroup. Both have resigned due the billions of dollars lost to lending money to people who can't afford to pay it back, plunging the US housing market into crisis.

Prediction:
This could not have come at a better time for John Howard, and is possibly his rabbit out of the hat. If (and more likely when) the interest rate rise happens this week, no doubt Howard will argue that the world economy is on the impending doom track, and who best to drive this train out of the tunnel of darkness but the Liberal party. He'll quote the USA mortgage crisis and possibly the resignation of these CEOs and more than likely he'll use the W word - no, not "Wabbit", but "World Recession". Wanker.

And another thing....
The polling is a bit all over the place recently. Interestingly, the last 3 Galaxy polls are consistent in their prediction on a Maxine McKew victory in Bennelong. But the latest Newspoll suggest that the Coalition is winning the ground on key marginals.

No one seems to be talking about the mobile phone factor. Polls are conducted via telephoning on land lines. Now the Lib's took a leaf out of the Republican book by trying to knock people off the electoral roll (some 140,000 voters have been knocked off because AEC workers visited their addresses and they no longer lived there) and by passing new laws closing the rolls early. The early rolls backfired somewhat with the campaign by radio station Triple J and by campaign group GetUp! to enroll young voters. Ten percent more young people are on the roll compared to last time.

So, I am hoping, that as young voters are more likely to vote for Kevin07, and not have a landline, the polls are slightly skewed to the Coalition - giving Labor and even bigger lead!!!!

Ipsophiliacs Anonomoustache

This is a group I belong to on Facebook. It's a group for making up words:
"This group is dedicated to the creation and furthering of Perlatations... Perlatation is the made up word for made up words. The art of creating words is called Perlating... Get involved - you might find you have ipsophiliac tendencies!"

I recently added:

Plutocrap: Taken from plutocrat meaning bourgeois and crap, meaning crap. When a wave of wealthy capitalist consumers do something collectively stupid...like the thousand or so Japanese people who wondered why their labradoodles didn't bark, because they were all sold sheep.

Other gems posted by fellow Ipsophiliacs include:

Lycratte: the art of consuming a latte whilst wearing lycra under the delusion that other patrons will envy your obvious athletic vigor.

Sleep Tetrivation: The lack of adequate sleep due to the constant playing of Tetris. This also applies to the lack of sleep from thinking of how best to place those odd shaped 'bricks' in order to prevent the game from ending and/or enhancing your highest score.

Enthusispasm: when enthusiasm crosses the boundary of healthy excitement into straight up retardedness.

Hypothetical Salad: The complimentary salad that the waiter asks you to select from the menu, in compensation for bad service, but then forgets to bring.

I also added:
Phallumphing: (1) The act of turning your pillow over in summer to fluff it up and sleep on the cool side. (2) The act of briskly moving your top sheet upwards and letting it fill with air and fall gently back down enjoying the sensation of it landing on your legs and body...also in summer. Note: It doesn't work with a doona.

This was then countered by a fellow Ipsophiliac called Chris:

Flatullumphing:
(1) The act of breaking wind then briskly moving your top sheet upwards and letting it fill with noxious air and fall gently back down enjoying the sensation of it landing on your legs and body whilst sinking breathable air levels...

Oh how I love Facebook!

My My...At Waterloo, Napoleon Did Surrender

Hope the outcome for Nelson (er....my Dad has just pointed out that it was the Duke of Wellington not Nelson....history is soooooo yesterday) will be the same for Kevin! Here's Jock and me at Waterloo with our Kevin07 shirts. Shame the RV was in the way. We've sent it to the Kevin07 website, so look out for us on the web. (And thanks Mad and Jamie for supplying the t-shirts!)

Whinge...
I can not believe Malcolm Turnbull. For one thing, we have an Environmental minister who refuses to say whether he believes the Kyoto Protocol should be ratified or not and secondly - he leaked the cabinet discussion during an election campaign! I think this could really damage the Libs.

Hoorah...
Labor definitely won the second week of campaigning - only four to go. I likened it to being 13 points up in the final quarter of the grand final with 7 minutes to go. Jock then added that this scenario doesn't cater for a football team punching members of their own squad in the head and giving the ball to the opposition. I think this could have been true for campaigns of yore, but not this one. I think it's the Libs who look undisciplined.

Whinge....
Except of course stupid Joe MacDonald could surface during a stop work meeting once the temperature's reached 25°C rendering it too hot to work and reveals all of Labor's dirty washing.

Hoorah!....
But of course, before this happens, one hopes a Labor heavy (or should I say a Labor Heavier) would have tied him to a lamp pole with his braces in a far away place or maybe given him a one way ticket to Cuba where he can bang on about the revolution whilst smoking cigars.

Whinge....
Piers Ackerman really gives me the shits. It's one thing to sit on the special chair reserved for right wing columnists from trashy dailies during Barry's Insiders program, it's another thing to be so blatantly pro-Howard that you start blurting spin from Liberal adverts. I'm happy to hear the views of conservative commentators, as long as they're putting their argument forward rather than regurgitate ad nauseam Liberal spin.

Hoorah!.....
Thank goodness for Annabel Crabb and Karen Middleton.

Wine!..
Had some lovely wine and beer at Jamie and Jeannie's in Belgium this weekend. Met the gorgeous Jasper and it was just lovely to hang out at their home chewing the fat all weekend.