Friday, February 20, 2009

'Allo 'Allo.....Oui are moving to Paris

Oui, il est excitement! Bill Gates somehow got Jock's email and offered him a job with Microsoft in tres romantique Paris. Et moi? I am going to habite a Paris avec Jock and will become a lady who dejeuners for the time being. I will most likely étude a CELTA course in teaching the French business fraternité how to speak propa English.

I do recall my folks sitting me down, âgé 14 ans, at the proper dining table (not the kitchen table, thus meaning BUSINESS) to inform me that I would regret not continuing mes études de Français. I have to say, that a la mode, I did not see the point (please pronounce this pwau in the context of une petite vignette) in continuing a language belonging to a country on the other side of the planet. Ah, mais non! my parents cried....There are so many other countries in the world that speak French, said Maman....You will need French to do the Times crossword and understand high brow political cartoons, explained Papa. Comme çi comme ça said I, with a resolute shrug of the shoulders and the facial expression of enfants terribles.

So now, 20 years later, Je ne regrette rien.... Non! Rien de rien... For I 'ave it on very gid authorité that I wid 'ave fergot-ten maste of it in eny cass. You can now catch me répétition vocabulaire de français from the iPod whilst trotting around Glasgow, much to the amusement of passers by.

So, in preparation for the road ahead, I am learning Français from these two gentlemen

Also, please enjoy le snippet de 'Allo 'Allo - no doubt how I shall parlez
Français in Paris...

  • René: I would like to turn myself in
Officer Crabtree: Do you wash to confuss to a cream?
René: What? Oh, oh yes. Cream galore!
Crabtree: Do you wash to confuss to mordor?
René: No.
Crabtree: Minslatter?
René: No.
Crabtree: Biglary?
René: No.
Crabtree: Biglary woth minaces?
René: No.
Crabtree: Roop?
René: No.
Crabtree: Arson?
René: What is arson?
Crabtree: Setting fire to places.

  • Officer Crabtree: Good Moaning, I have come to arost your mither
Yvette: Arrest her mother, why?
Crabtree: She has been pissing fudged bank notes in the hot shop.
Edith: What does Crabtree say Vyette?
Yvette: I think he said "she has been passing forged bank notes in the hat shop.
Crabtree: Presoasly
René (Dressed like Fanny, doing a poor impression of her): Edith, remind him that he is supposed to be on our side.
Crabtree: Who is the ugly old bog in the bid with your mither?
Fanny: I have been asking the same question.
René (takes off his wig): It is I, Rene.
Crabtree: My Gid that was a god disgeese, I was complotely decieved by the wog.
René: Edith, give him 500 francs from the till and tell him to pass off.
Crabtree: There is no need to be rode.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thats fantastic news guys - congratulations! Where abouts will you be living in Gay Parieeeee?